Interesting Concept

One thing I found interesting in Chapter 11 (although it is broad) is the whole concept of mass media. Mass media is an extremely powerful tool that almost anybody can gain access to. The three things that are unique about mass media as the book states are that it comes from profit-oriented organizations rather than a single individual, the receivers are anonymous and dispersed in time and space and this form of communication requires specialized encoding/decoding technologies (Pg. 299). Mass media can reach hundreds of millions of people anywhere in the world, which can be a scary concept to think about. The media itself is a powerful tool to change or enforce others’ opinions into what the media wants people to think. The media tells us how to act, what to think, how to dress and how to be beautiful. Although none of these ‘rules’ set by the media are accurate, they are followed by the majority and those who choose not to are looked at as outsiders

The Medium is the Message

I agree with McLuhan, I think the medium, or way in which a message is sent, is just as important as the message. Different mediums are intended to reach different audiences, which also plays a large role in the kinds of messages received. In my experiences, I tend to think elderly people listen to ‘talk radio’ channels and that is something young adults like myself would probably not participate in so the information being discussed on talk radio is intended for a specific age group. When companies look for means of advertising, I’m sure they put a great amount of thought into the medium they will use. Depending on their product, a company may feel advertising on the radio will get their point across while another company may feel a magazine ad with a visual aid is necessary for success.

Cyberspace Relationships

I do not have any friendships that exist exclusively in cyberspace because I don’t really communicate with people online very much, I prefer face to face relationships. Cyberspace relationships seem like they would take a lot of time and initiative, I would have to put myself in the right situation to meet someone like a chat room but I don’t participate in anything like that. The most online communication I engage in is through Facebook, which involves talking to people I already know and I have no interest in meeting people online because they could very easily lie about who they are. There are so many stories about people preying on others through the Internet because they can be whoever they want to be and the other person has no way of knowing who they really are – it is just too dangerous. However, when I was a freshmen in high school I stumbled across some kind of San Jose Sharks fan forum or something like that and ended up talking to a girl who was my age and also a huge Sharks fan. I let my guard down with her and we both divulged personal details about our lives, I found out she went to a nearby high school and we had many other things in common. That was about eight years ago and today she is one of my very good friends! I took a risk with her by telling her about my personal life and I got lucky because she was exactly who she said she was.

Interesting Concept

I found the different ways we express conflict to be interesting because I can relate most of these ways to relationships I have with my friends. My friend Amy tends to use the ‘withdraw’ method when she senses conflict. She would rather not deal with conflict so if she senses conflict about to arise she will change the subject, leave the room and do everything she possibly can to stop a conflict from forming.

Sometimes when my friend Jenn is really angry, she will unfortunately use the ‘forcing’ method of conflict. She tends to forget that the person she is arguing with is an actual human being with feelings and says and does everything she can think of to get her point across because she feels she is right and the other person is wrong.

I think of myself as in the middle between Amy and Jenn and always try my hardest to compromise and problem solve. No matter how angry I get, I am usually good at seeing the other person’s point of view in a conflict and if it makes sense then I am more than willing to compromise. However, if you ask my friends, they may tell you a different story…..

Relationships

One of the things I find most unattractive is lack of ambition. If someone has no job, is not going to school, doesn’t have a car etc. then I don’t have much interest in having any kind of relationship with that person. I like people who know what they want and are on the path to getting it. Independence is also a must. If any guy comes on too strong or forceful, I am also immediately turned off by such behavior.

At first glance with pre-interaction cues my boyfriend does not seem like my ‘type’. When I first met him (we worked together) I judged him based on these pre-interaction cues and did not think I would ever have any type of relationship with him. His style of dress was different than other guys I dated and he was not in school at the time (but he was working two jobs). But then after getting to know him, I found out that he did have goals and he was a very unique person, which attracted me to him. Now he is in school and is definitely on the right path to getting what he wants in life.

Duck’s relational dissolution model does make sense, however it does not relate to my past relationship. I think this model is very basic and on the surface because I can understand these phases yet I think there is much more detail that goes on between them. With my past relationship, I noticed many problems during the intrapsychic phase and was unhappy but my boyfriend at the time and I never made it to the dyadic phase to confront these problems; we tried to act like they did not exist and ended up being in the relationship for much longer than we should have. Duck’s model is of an ideal relationship but unfortunately they don’t all work that way in real life.

Patterns

It was interesting to read about these patterns because as I was doing so, I was able to immediately relate a relationship in my life to each one. I would say I am a dominant person who usually likes to be in control and my boyfriend is more laid back and easy going so we have a complementary pattern. But sometimes, I wish he would step up and plan things or take more responsibility and I get tired of being in charge, which then causes the rigid complementary pattern.

The competitive symmetrical pattern is apparent in my relationship with my best friend. We are very similar and both like being dominant and in control. We are constantly trying to “one-up” each other and we each like being the center of attention. We have a silent competition going between us for just about everything that can sometimes cause arguments between us but for the most part, we still manage to be best friends!

I think it is most difficult for a dominant person to change. It is hard to sit back and let someone else take control when you would much rather do it your own way. I also think a rigid complementary pattern can be most damaging to a relationship because the submissive person can begin to feel pushed around and taken for granted by the dominant one. A dominant person can also easily damage a submissive person’s self-esteem by making him or her feel useless.